


Broken Agent

by SnowBunny101



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is broken, Anger, Angst, F/F, Hate, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kara is worried, Maggie is sad, Red Kryptonite, Sadness, Self Harm, Sister Bond, maybe Alex will get a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:05:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8823883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowBunny101/pseuds/SnowBunny101
Summary: Alex Danvers was always use to being the protector and always being the strong bigger sister. What happens when Alex starts to break and loose herself? Will Kara; her sister; her family be able to save her? Or Maggie; the girl she is in love with; the girl who rejected her save her? Or will they both be too late and loose Alex for good?





	1. Alex's Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :) I hope you like the story and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.  
> Enjoy :)

Alex has always been the protective and strong big sister. She was always told to look out for Kara and to make sure she was happy and safe. But what about her? That's all Alex can think about as she stands in her bathroom staring at her reflection in the mirror hating what she sees.  
She starts at her feet as she works her way up her body stopping at her thighs. She frowns when she notices that they touch; no gap. She sighs to herself wondering when she gained so much weight.  
"Maybe that's why Maggie doesn't want me." Alex had said to herself.  
Alex skips her stomach to afraid to look at how much she has actually gained. She moves to her arms to see the hidden scars. Her eyes fill with tears when she sees the old and new scars that are visible on her arms. She remembers the first night she put the scars on her wrist and the crying and the pain it caused. She remembers Kara coming to her months later begging her to stop; begging her to care about herself.  
"How am I suppose to care when no one else does?" Alex asks herself.  
Alex meets her eyes in the mirror. Sadness hidden in them. She doesn't see the beauty that people say she has. She has full brown eyes; they aren't beautiful like her sister Kara's are. Her hair is short and an ugly brown color while Kara's is blonde and bright like the sun.  
"Maybe if I looked like Kara; Maggie would want me." Alex says to herself.  
Alex stands in the bathroom thinking back to the past few weeks; thinking back to the things she did and said to make those she loved run away.  
"Kara.. Hank didn't kill Astra... I did. I had too! She was going to kill him and I couldn't let that happen. I know I shouldn't have let him take the blame but I didn't want too loose you." Alex had said to Kara weeks before; only for Kara to storm out of the room.  
Alex looks down at her arm remembering that night clearly; she had far too many drinks; alone in her bathroom and she destroyed herself in a way she promised she would never do again. Alex didn't care anymore.  
Kara said she forgave Alex; but Alex knew it wasn't enough. She knew she wasn't forgiven and that was proven when Kara was under the red kyptonite.  
"You were always jealous of me Alex. Always wanted what I had. You wanted to protect me but instead you kill my Aunt, why? You want control over me? Alex; dont you get it? I don't need you! I never did. We aren't even sister." Kara said to Alex that night.  
Alex never shows up for work after that. She couldn't face Kara knowing that's how she really felt. Alex promised herself she would never do it again; she broke the promise that very night. Kara visited her that night; claiming that she was sorry; that she didn't mean any of it. Alex nodded her head and pretended everything was fine.. nothing was fine.  
Alex was good; it has been a week since she broken her promise twice and she was doing good on not doing it a third time; that was until she met Maggie Sawyer. Alex never thought anything of it; didn't think she could ever be gay. She was wrong; she is 100 percent gay. For once in her life she felt like everything was going well and she was happy until... she wasn't happy anymore. She came out to Kara and everything was good. She walked into that bar with confidence only for it to be destroyed when she realized her mistake.  
"I'm here for you Alex.. but as a friend" Maggie said to her; showing off her sideways grin.  
Alex waked out of that bar not caring anymore; she went home and broken her promise again and again only this time she was sober.  
It's been another weeks and nothing has changed; Maggie doesn't want her and her relationship with her sister is dying; her mother is angry and Her father was alive but she couldn't find him and J'onn thinks that she can't do her job right. She's messed up when catching aliens and putting everyone at risk of being hurt. She's angry and hurt and wants it all to just stop.  
Alex pulls out her phone as she starts to send out a couple of messages finally deciding what she has to do.  
To Mom: I'm sorry for all the fights we had; especially the one this week. Thank you for accepting me and loving me no matter what. I love you. 

To Winn: Don't wait too long to tell Kara about James and you; she will forgive you. Please take care of Kara. Thank you. 

To J'onn: Thank you for saving me from Jail that one night and showing me a better life; you were always like a father to me and I am sorry it has to end this way. 

To Maggie: I can't be friends with you. I like you. So so much. I can't play pool and act like I'm not thinking about how you feel when I touch you or how soft your lips are. I can't pretend I don't feel anything for you. I also can't stand the pain of knowing you don't want me. I like you so much it hurts. Thank you for showing me who I am; it's too late. Your an amazing woman Maggie Sawyer and don't let any woman tell you otherwise. Goodbye...

To Kara: Hey baby sister; I'm sure you will be sleeping when you get this... I want you to know that I am so sorry that I killed your Aunt but yet I am not. I know she was your family and I know... I know I messed up and I am so sorry about that. But you were right; I was always jealous of you; I wanted to be you; wanted to have your powers and I wanted to look like you but I never; ever; wanted for too you from being who you really are. I am so grateful that you landed in that pod on Earth and became my sister... only difference is that you were 13 and new to this planet so you needed a big sister... now you don't need me. Remember that promise I made to you when we were only 16 years old? I broke my promise... I love you Kara; forever and always. -Your Big Sister; Alex 

Alex sends her last message as she moves to her bedroom slowly; she isn't sure what the time is or how much time as passed. She stares at her ceiling as she feels her heart start to slow and as the world starts to turn dark she hears her name. Someone is calling her; begging her to open her eyes.  
Alex opens her eyes to find Kara looking down at her; tears are streaming down her face. Alex reaches a hand up to wipe Kara's tears off smiling softly to her.  
"You came..." Alex says softly to her.  
"I will always need you; please stay with me." Kara begs quietly.  
Alex doesn't say anything as her eyes start to close; ignoring Kara's cries and yells of her name. The last thing she hears is Kara telling her to stay and the cold air of the night sky.


	2. Becoming A Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I deserve this" Alex said to herself as she brought it to her wrist breaking the same promise she made to her sister Kara when they were 16 years old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)

Weeks Before:

Alex remembers the day she became a true killer. Sure; she has killed before; it was part of the job. But this kill was much more personal. Astra wasn’t her Aunt but Kara was he sister and she hurt Kara in the worst way possible and Alex couldn’t seem to forgive herself for what happen. It was the only thing she hated about her job and now its something else she hates about herself.

Alex stood next to Kara as Winn tries to locate Astra to see if she is till in National City. Alex watched Kara to see how said she really was; sad that this was her aunt doing all of this. So far no one could seem to locate Astra and Alex was so happy that they couldn’t. As a Solider, Alex knew what would happen. Someone would die, either Kara or Astra and Alex would never let that happen to Kara so Alex knew what she had to do she just hoped she wouldn’t have to be the one to do it. She knew Kara would never forgive her.

Alex stands on the roof staring straight into Astra’s eyes as no one moves. It’s just the two of them. Alex can feel the weight of the kryptonite armor she is carrying. Alex stands tall staring at Astra refusing to back down.

“You don’t have to do this Astra.” Alex had said to her, trying to get her to listen.

“It’s too late Brave One.” Astra said.

“It’s never too late.” Alex had said before all hell broke loose.

Alex doesn’t remember how they got in this position. She remembered both charging at each other and then Astra had her by the neck holding her over the edge of the building. She watched as J’onn came in trying to save her. She didn’t realize what she did till it was too late to take it back. Alex stares quietly as she plunges the kryptonite sword through Astra’s chest.

Next thing Alex knows Kara is there leaning over Astra crying as her aunt tells her goodbye. She barely hears as J’onn takes the blame of killing Astra even though Alex was the one holding the sword. Alex looked at J’onn as she shakes her head. She can’t let J’onn take the blame for this. This is her fault.

It has been two weeks since Alex had killed Astra and Kara still thought J’onn did it. She was talking with J’onn when Kara walked in wanting to call a truce but she couldn’t do it. She had to tell Kara; she had to tell her the truth.

“Kara… Astra was standing over J’onn; I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let him die. I killed Astra, not J’onn.” Alex said as tears start to fill her eyes.

“You... You killed Astra?” Kara has said softly, hurt filling her eyes.

“I should have told you weeks ago, but I didn’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you.” Alex says as tears start to fall down her face.

Alex wraps her arms around her stomach as Kara walks out the room not saying anything to Alex. Alex knows J’onn is trying to talk to her but she walks past him ignoring everything and everyone around her.

Alex sits in her bathroom that night as tears fall down her face as she takes another sip of her beer. She throws the bottle to the floor with the rest of the bottles as she hears it shattering. Alex sighs to herself as she gets up to pick up the glass. As Alex picks up the glass it digs into her hand as it draws blood. Alex sighs slightly as she throws the glass back on the floor quickly.

“I promised Kara I wouldn’t do it again.” Alex said to herself.

“Will Kara even care anymore?” Alex said to herself.

Alex grabs the glass off the floor as she stares at it, wondering if its worth it before sighing. She deserved it, Alex thought to herself.

Alex groans softly to herself as she hears someone knocking loudly on her door. Alex gets out of bed slowly as she grabs her firearm walking towards the door. As soon as Alex opens the door Kara flies into the room talking and talking not giving a chance for Alex to get a word in.

“I have been trying to call you for hours now! Do you know how late it is? You never showed dup for work! I was so worried about you. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Alex?” Kara had said to Alex that night.

“I turned my phone off, I didn’t think you would want to talk to me… especially after what I did.” Alex said quietly knowing Kara heard her.

“I love you Alex, I was hurt but you will always be my sister. It’s okay, I just needed time. I’m sorry for worrying you like this, IM not angry.” Kara said before sirens could be heard through the windows.

Alex smiled softly as Kara took off before Alex’s mouth dropped into a frown. Alex rolls up her sleeves as she sees four long, deep gashes on her arm with dried blood on them. Alex rinses off her arm and cleans up the bathroom as she thinks back to that previous night.

“I deserved those.” Alex said to herself before heading to the DEO to help in any way she can.

Present:

“Please… Don’t leave me Alex, I need you. I don’t care that you broke your promise. I will always need you Alex. You’re my big sister…I love you so much but I need to you fight and come back to me… Please.” Kara begs as Alex lays quietly on the DEO medical bed in a coma. 

“She will be okay Kara, she will come back to us.” Eliza says from behind Kara.

“How do you know? She didn’t even want to be here… Why would she come back?” Kara says looking at Eliza.

Eliza stays silent as tears fill her eyes at that thought. Kara turns away as tears fall down her face.

“Your my hero Alex, My Supergirl. Please.” Kara says before laying her head on Alex’s arm; waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am probably going to go through all the events and how it is in the present.. Not sure of her future yet. Let me know what you think other than that then enjoy. -SnowBunny

**Author's Note:**

> Hoped you liked the story. Thanks. -SnowBunny


End file.
